


Fantasy

by Mpuppy5885



Series: Pride Month Prompts 2020 [22]
Category: Constantine: The Hellblazer (Comics), DCU (Comics), Disney Princesses, Justice League Dark: Apokolips War (2020), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Bisexual John Constantine, British Slang, Fairy Tale Curses, Fairy Tale Elements, I Am A Character, John Constantine Being an Asshole, Multi, shameless self-insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:41:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24887008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mpuppy5885/pseuds/Mpuppy5885
Summary: I do a shameless self-insert and mess with some of my favorite magic users by trapping them in a fairytale book.
Relationships: Artemis Crock/Zatanna Zatara, John Constantine/Nanaue Sha'ark, Koriand'r/Donna Troy, Koriand'r/Raven (DCU), Natasha Irons/Traci Thirteen, Raven (DCU) & Donna Troy
Series: Pride Month Prompts 2020 [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776547
Kudos: 9





	Fantasy

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this is late it took forever to write and edit, so I missed posting it yesterday. Also if you haven't seen the scene from Justice Leauge Dark: Apokolips War with John and King Shark, go, go watch it, and come back. I could not stop laughing after I saw that.

Once upon a time, there was an annoying, British, occult detective who pissed off a powerful sorceress. So the sorceress trapped the annoying, British, occult detective and his friends in her enchanted storybook.

“Bullocks, how do we get ourselves into situations like this?” John cursed. “And why the bloody hell am I in a dress?”

“YOU pissed off the sorceress by throwing the demon through her shop’s window and now WE are trapped in a fairytale,” Raven deadpanned.

_The story doesn’t end until you live out the tale._

“Shit now the book is talking to us,” John complained. “I’m so not smashed enough for this.”

“You know smashing is kinda how we got into this mess in the first place, just saying,” Traci piped up.

The beautiful princesses, ladies, and the annoying, British, occult detective…

“Is she going to refer to me as that every time?” John asked

_Ahem. As I was saying..._

… now had to find their perfect princess or king. Lady Raven is being held in the castle by her evil father and her evil siblings, Wrath and Greed. She only has her familiar, the raven Hvítr, as her company. However she wanted to go to the ball being held by Princess Koriand'r, but her evil father, Lord Trigon would not let her go.

Princess Zatanna is supposed to get married, but she only wanted to marry her love, Lady Artemis. Her father let her choose the competition to choose her husband so she chose a competition that her love could not lose, archery. Now she had to let Lady Artemis shoot for her hand in marriage.

Princess Traci, the younger sister of Princess Zatanna, had been cursed by the evil Witch Boy, Klarion. She would die if she pricked her finger on a spindle during a party in her nineteenth year, but her younger brother who had yet placed his gift on her said she would only fall into eternal sleep, only to be awoken by true love’s kiss.

The annoying, British, occult detective had rescued the King of the Nanauve, King Nanaue Shark from dying on the beach and being attacked by evil humans. ...

“Why is everyone in this bloody fairytale “evil”?” John yelled at the author.

_The more you interrupt me, the longer you have to stay in the dress, so SHUT UP. Besides, it’s a fairytale and in every fairytale there is “evil”. So SHUT UP and let me finish telling the story!_

… and had fallen in love with the sharkman and decided to seek out the evil Witch Boy so he could join his true love in the sea.

“Umm Miss Sorceress, could we speed this up, please? Zatanna, Raven, and I didn’t really do anything and we’re really sorry about John. Could we skip to the happily ever after and help you fix your window instead, please?” Traci asked the author.

_Ugh fine. {Insert eye roll} You guys take all the fun out of this punishment, but since you said please and you ARE going to help fix my window..._

Lady Raven made a beautiful dress, but Wrath and Greed destroyed it, leaving her with nothing to wear to the ball. She went to cry at the tree of her mother and her Amazonian Fairy Godsister appeared and put her in a fancy black and lace dress. She went to the ball, met Princess Kori, and danced the night away. When the clock hit midnight she fled the castle before her dress turned back into rags, as she was running she lost her silver slipper on the staircase. Princess Kori picked up the shoe and vowed to marry the beautiful stranger. Princess Kori took the shoe and traveled to all the houses in the kingdom looking for the girl with the matching shoe. When it came time to try Lord Trigon's house he took the other shoe from Raven and locked her in the attic. However, her amazing Amazonian Fairy Godsister and Hvítr worked together to free Raven. Raven reunited with Princess Kori who recognized the dusty ravenette as the beautiful maiden from the ball. She declared she would marry Raven and took her to the palace where it turns out Princess Kori was also engaged to Princess Donna, Raven’s Amazonian Fairy Godsister. Princess Kori married both girls, but Raven and Donna decided to stay BFF’s. The three girls and Hvítr lived happily ever after.

Lady Artemis entered the contest as Lord Apollo and wore a hooded cloak and clothes borrowed from her friends Prince Dick and Lord Wally. She won the contest, but King Giovanni was furious. How dare this woman enter the contest and win? How would Princess Zatanna produce heirs from a woman? In his rage, his magic transformed him into a bear. The bear attacked the people of the kingdom and almost killed Princess Zatanna when she threw herself in front of her love to protect her. Seeing his daughter hurt King Giovanni turned back into his human form and wept for his daughter. Lady Artemis who knew how to treat wounds patched up Princess Zatanna and mixed up a healing salve. With the salve and a mix of Princess Zatanna’s family’s magics, her cousin Prince Zachary, her sister Princess Traci, her brother Prince Khalid, and Lady Artemis saved Princess Zatanna. King Giovanni seeing that their love was true allowed the two to get married, especially after Princess Zatanna reminded her father that she could create an heir of Lady Artemis and her from her magic. So Princess Zatanna and Lady Artemis lived happily ever after.

Princess Traci snuck off during the wedding of her sister and Lady Artemis as she was drawn up to the highest tower in the castle. In there she found many burned spinning wheels, but one in the center was still perfect. No soot or burn marks anywhere in sight. The curse that had been placed on her during her adoption party took control and Princess Traci reached out for the spindle of the spinning wheel. When she touched it a drop of blood fell to the floor and the curse took hold. Princess Traci fell into an eternal sleep. Her family, who had felt the powerful magic take hold, rushed to find her. When they found her asleep they wept as they knew the curse had taken hold. They moved her into her bedroom and left her there to tell the people of the kingdom the sad news. However, Princess Natasha, adopted daughter of Kings Bruce and Clark of the combined Kingdoms of Gotham and Metropolis, was wandering around the castle when Princess Traci’s family moved her to her bedroom. Seeing the beautiful princess, Princess Natasha fell hopelessly in love with her. She sneaked into the bedroom and sat next to the sleeping princess in the bed. She placed a delicate kiss on Princess Traci’s brow and stood back as Princess Traci’s eyes began to flutter. Awakening Princess Traci explained to Princess Natasha the curse and that the only way to break it was a kiss from her true love. The girls ran down to the King who was discussing with King Bruce and King Clark about what to do next. The girls explained what had happened and King Bruce smirked and told King Giovanni that the marriage between the two girls was still on. The girls celebrated and lived happily ever after.

_Are you guys happy yet? We’re almost done, just one more story to go._

Prince John…

“Oh look she didn’t call me the annoying, British, occult detective,” He snarked.

_DO YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE YOU TRAP IN HERE FOREVER? BECAUSE I WILL IF YOU DON’T SHUT THE HECKITY HECK UP!!!! {Insert Author taking a deep breath to calm down}_

… was wandering the beach when he saw some evil fishermen beating up on a beached sharkman. He chased them off with his magic before pulling the sharkman into the water. The sharkman was so handsome that Prince John couldn’t help but fall in love with him. King Nanaue awoke when the water hit him to see Prince John surrounded by a halo of light from the setting sun. Prince John was cursing up a storm because it was not easy to drag the dehydrated sharkman into the water. The voice and look of the helpful _{insert choking noises and laughing from Author at this point}_ human’s magic made King Nanaue fall in love with him.

“John helpful, since when?” Zatanna snarked.

“Oi, I can be helpful!” John said, trying to defend himself.

_You know usually, I would be upset that you interrupted me, but that was a sick burn. Have an imaginary high-five Zatanna. Now back to the story._

King Nanaue swam away from the beach with a big toothy grin and a vow to marry that man, whoever he was if he saw him again. Prince John was taken with the sharkman’s beauty that he went to pine over him with his friend Princess Zatanna. After about two hours of Prince John’s hopeless pinning, she sent out to try and find him again. Prince John looked through all his books, but could not find a spell to help him. So he went to the Witch Boy Klarion for help. Klarion agreed to help, but for a price. He wanted the Prince’s magic and voice in exchange for his help. Prince John who was too in love to care signed the contract and Klarion turned him into a merman. Prince John swam down to Nanauve to see the King. When he got there he was too late using his magic and voice, the evil Witch Boy Klarion had put King Nanaue under his spell and was going to marry him for control of the Kingdom of Nanauve. Prince John, who was used to cheating contracts did not sign away all his magic and used it to destroy the Witch Boy’s amulet and get his full magic and voice back. King Nanaue then tried to eat the Witch Boy, but he portalled away with his familiar. Prince John and King Nanaue got married and lived happily ever after.

THE END

_Now come help me fix my window and never set foot in my store again._

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who finally learned to italicize and is so freaking happy about it! This writer.


End file.
